Nice letter ^^

I love it lol peach ftw for showing me this.

Dear Bez,
I don't really know how to tell you this, I'm selling myself for candy. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped on the bathtub outside of your office and I saw you pull the clothes off my salt-beef bucket.
I'm sure you're open enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your love letters to me, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory.
You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo.
Go drown yourself,

Ana


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8 ) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)



1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you kicked my butt
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog bit my leg
December - When i threw out your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other - With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving stinks

8 ) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - the oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Juice – I have a passionate interest for mice
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - go drown yourself

Dear Jessica,
I don't really know how to tell you this, Our affair is over. I think I realized it When you put cuffs on me In your car and I saw you Pull the clothes off My father. I'm sure you're Open enough to understand How awful you are. I'm returning The couch cushions to you, but I'll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Told my psychiatrist about the bruises and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.
Go milk a cow,
Thomas


wow lol very fun xD

I know right XD

Dear Ana (My gf, not belle xD)

I don't really know how to tell you this, I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it last year when you peed your pants at the mental hospital and i saw you Pull the clothes off the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're coward enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard and Thanks for the Cocaine.
Go milk a cow,

Henrique



ahaha funny stuff

omg... when i read the top of the 1st post, the 1st thing that popped into my mind is "o.o... i shouldnt be reading this O.o..." /reads on

i was so traumatized that i almost didnt read the 2nd bit xD

Dear Jesus,
I don't really know how to tell you this, the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when i finally changed my underwear in your closet and I saw you hit on the catholic priest. I'm sure you're high enough to understand the middle east is planning their revenge on you. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I told my confession today about the moose poaching and thanks for the cocaine.
go drown yourself,
Austin Chan

lol the irony of drowning jesus

XD omg that's is so bad

Dear Outlaw,
I don't really know how to tell you this, I’m joining the Convent.
I think I realized it When you put cuffs on me In a clown suit and I saw you Hit on My father.
I'm sure you're Ashamed enough to understand That you need a sex-change.
I'm returning Your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep The results of that blood-sample as a memory.
You should also know that I am better off without you and Our friendship is ruined
go drown yourself

Dear Siren Evo 2,
I don't really know how to tell you this, I'm in love with your cat.
I think I realized it Last year when you peed your pants At the mental hospital and I saw you Hit on My salt-beef bucket.
I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That I get turned on only by garbage men.
I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Told my psychiatrist about the bruises and I have a passionate interest for mice.
Best of luck on the sex change,
Flying Xicken

PS: Mice, Cats... seems reasonable to understand that i have a fetish for food chains. LOL

Belletrice wrote:

I love it lol peach ftw for showing me this.

Dear Bez,
I don't really know how to tell you this, I'm selling myself for candy. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped on the bathtub outside of your office and I saw you pull the clothes off my salt-beef bucket.
I'm sure you're open enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your love letters to me, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory.
You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo.
Go drown yourself,

Ana

I got it from Antje, so she is truely the FTW one.